A Judge Rejected a DIY Divorce After 30 Years of Marriage – Why Gray Divorce Without a Lawyer Can Cost You Millions

Divorce can be a complex and costly process, especially when it comes to gray divorce – a term used to describe couples in their 60s, 70s, and 80s who are getting a divorce. Family lawyer Grace Roessler of Mirick Law Firm in Massachusetts recently witnessed a case in court where a couple’s DIY divorce was rejected by a judge due to the unfair terms they had agreed upon.

The couple had been married for over 30 years, and the wife had been unaware of the significant financial disparity between them. According to Roessler, most DIY agreements are unenforceable because they are not equitable, especially after 30-plus years of marriage where one partner may have significantly more assets than the other. In this case, the wife had $30,000, while the husband had $1.5 million.

Roessler emphasizes the importance of detective work when it comes to shared assets. She recommends that couples going through a gray divorce do their groundwork by making an inventory of shared assets and liabilities. This can include tracking down joint tax returns, bank statements, and other financial documents to determine household income and expenses.

One common trigger for gray divorce is when one spouse has lacked financial autonomy and starts to pull back the curtain on their household finances to learn just how much money is (or isn’t) in joint accounts. Roessler notes that this process is essential for anyone considering a divorce and can provide much-needed ammunition to come to an agreement.

Roessler also highlights the importance of protecting dependents, especially when it comes to alimony and child support. In Massachusetts, for example, if you’ve been married for 10 to 20 years, there’s a time limit for paying alimony. However, with more people working past retirement age, there’s a new wrinkle with gray divorce – older spouses may be able to seek an extension to their alimony.

In Florida, child support ends when a child reaches 19 years, while in Massachusetts, it ends when the child is 26. Talking to a lawyer familiar with these state laws is essential for the sake of your child.

With so much complexity and financial security at stake, Roessler says it’s better for all affected parties if divorcing spouses seek legal help first. A judge’s rejection of a DIY divorce can cost millions, and the consequences can be devastating.

Roessler’s advice to couples going through a gray divorce is to do their homework and seek legal help. She recommends that couples going through a gray divorce do their groundwork by making an inventory of shared assets and liabilities. This can include tracking down joint tax returns, bank statements, and other financial documents to determine household income and expenses.

Roessler also emphasizes the importance of protecting dependents, especially when it comes to alimony and child support. In Massachusetts, for example, if you’ve been married for 10 to 20 years, there’s a time limit for paying alimony. However, with more people working past retirement age, there’s a new wrinkle with gray divorce – older spouses may be able to seek an extension to their alimony.

Ultimately, a gray divorce can have significant financial and emotional consequences. Seeking legal help is essential to protect your interests and those of your dependents.

Roessler’s advice to couples going through a gray divorce is to do their homework and seek legal help. She recommends that couples going through a gray divorce do their groundwork by making an inventory of shared assets and liabilities. This can include tracking down joint tax returns, bank statements, and other financial documents to determine household income and expenses.