Internet Wisdom Oversimplifies Real Human Experience

Reviewed by Lybi Ma

In today’s digital age, it’s easy to get caught up in the endless stream of self-help articles, social media posts, and online forums that promise to solve our problems and improve our lives. However, beneath the surface of this ‘wisdom’ lies a more insidious reality – one that threatens to undermine our relationships, our understanding of the world, and even our own identities.

One of the most pernicious aspects of this phenomenon is the way in which negative labels are used as explanations for complex human experiences. We see this in the proliferation of terms like ‘gaslighting,’ ‘narcissist,’ and ‘microaggressions,’ which are often thrown around without any real understanding of their meanings or contexts. This is not to say that these issues don’t exist or are not important, but rather that they are being used as a crutch to avoid genuine engagement and empathy.

Another problem with the self-help industry is the way in which it often confuses judgments with feelings. We see this in the ubiquitous use of phrases like ‘I feel offended,’ ‘I feel disrespected,’ or ‘I feel judged.’ While these statements may be intended to convey a sense of emotional vulnerability, they are, in fact, judgments about other people’s attitudes or behavior. This can lead to a kind of ‘culture of complaint,’ where individuals are more focused on validating their own emotions than on engaging with the complexities of the issue at hand.

The self-help industry also perpetuates a kind of ‘monocular vision,’ where individuals are encouraged to focus solely on their own feelings and perspectives, without considering the viewpoints of others. This can lead to a kind of intellectual and emotional isolation, where individuals become trapped in their own echo chambers and are unable to engage with the world in a meaningful way.

Furthermore, the self-help industry often relies on ‘appeals to authority,’ where individuals cite psychological studies or other expert opinions as evidence for their claims. However, this can be a misleading tactic, as it often involves cherry-picking data or misrepresenting the findings of reputable studies. In some cases, this can even involve fabricating or misrepresenting evidence altogether.

So, what can we do to transcend this ‘insulated narcissism’ and engage with the world in a more meaningful way? For starters, we need to be more critical of the self-help industry and the way it presents information. We need to be willing to question assumptions and challenge our own biases, rather than simply accepting what we’re told. We also need to be more empathetic and open-minded, willing to engage with different perspectives and engage in genuine dialogue.

Ultimately, the key to transcending this ‘insulated narcissism’ is to cultivate a deeper sense of curiosity and a willingness to engage with the complexities of the world. By doing so, we can move beyond the superficiality of the self-help industry and engage with the world in a more meaningful, more empathetic, and more authentic way.

The Cult of ‘I Feel’

The self-help industry often tries to hide negative judgments by expressing them as feelings. For example, ‘I feel offended, disrespected, judged, dismissed, unheard….’ These are not feelings. They’re judgments, if not accusations, about other people’s attitudes or behavior, which is why they usually elicit counter judgments and accusations. Feelings are guilt, shame, sadness, interest, enjoyment, surprise. Expressing feelings can bring us closer together; negative judgments masquerading as feelings drive us further apart.

The Cult of Opinion

Opinions expressed in the media (particularly on the Internet) are not facts. They may include interpretations of facts, but even then, they’re embedded with personal biases and supported by confirmation bias. Opinions are typically short-hand explanations of complex issues. Those who express them, when they bother to give reasons, never give alternative plausible explanations, of which there are almost always several. We’re more likely to accept the opinions of those who agree with our biases in comparison with those who present compelling evidence.

Appeals to Authority

It’s become fashionable for Internet posts to cite psychological studies as references, giving the false impression that they’re on a par with peer-reviewed professional journals. Many years ago, I sat on a peer-review committee of a professional publication. To this day, I remain shocked by the number of submissions citing studies that did not support, and sometimes contradicted, the points in their content. I would have thought they’d be more careful, knowing they were going to be reviewed. I now believe this faulty scholarship was a product of confirmation bias rather than sloppiness, narcissism, or dishonesty.

Toddlers Are So Cute

The self-obsession of toddlers, whose favorite words are Mine and No, is adorable. Not so cute are adults who think like toddlers, preoccupied with splitting and all-or-nothing judgments. Although it can seem like narcissism, the selfie-culture we live in is more a product of immature thinking, of wanting attention by seeming to be smart, morally attractive, or interesting.